Mathematics-Phobia

I beg you sir, would you please tell me,
Why should I learn mathematics?
Numbers and symbols, equations and variables,
In my mind they can never stick.

It's lucky for Pythagoras and Newton
That none can ever touch them.
Otherwise they would be murdered
For their wearisome theorems.

Sine and cosine, tangent and cotangent,
Are they not more or less the same?
This side over that side, that side over this side,
What kind of stupid games?

All I need in life is a calculator
Whether I buy or sell.
If in heaven I have to learn Mathematics
I'd rather go to hell.

(Ee Teck Ee -  Singapore)